still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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