Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
