Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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