Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
