I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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