i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
