Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
