Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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