Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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