Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
