Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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