Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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