He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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