i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
