i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
