Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
