I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize