When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I need a beard to bite.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
