at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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