forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
