explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
