you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
