sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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