My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
