so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
