he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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