McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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