I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize