Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize