This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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