Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
