erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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