Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
