Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
