and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
