6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
