my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Sober January is a disaster.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize