so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
