I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize