And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
