I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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