You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
