my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We had to coat check the pizza.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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