My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
