some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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