is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize