having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
