His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize