You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
