I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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