Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
