I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
