You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
In America we eat man semen.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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