If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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