YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
