I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
