dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
