Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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